One night stand? It was cool while it lasted ....

I first met her online during one of my google searches yesterday. At the time I was really feeling so hot.

After going through some friends I found out she'd been returned since the person she was orignally with wasn't satisfied, and that she'd be right where I wanted her. Though I better hurry as they were closing the doors soon.

So I decided to take a chance hoping it wouldn't be damaged goods.

Once arriving at the shop I found her at the back lot apparently abandoned with the rest of her stuff scattered around. Poor girl, you're coming home with me now. Shhh ... you take care of me, and I'll take care of you.

I carried her out of there and sat her down in the car. Her stuff I gently placed around her so she'd be secure and wouldn't have to move around alot in the back. Being paranoid and all that, I even fastend her to the backseat just so there wouldn't be a chance of her jumping out of the car and hurting herself.

Arriving home, I opend the door and gently lifted her up and out into the living room. Made sure the doors were pretty open to avoid damaging her body. Right, I've got OCD. Go figure.

I started talking to her and learning her most darkest secrets, but most importantly how to turn her on and what turns her off all of a sudden. Satisfied, I turned her around and attached the hose and made sure we were near the window for easy ventilation. Thats when I plugged-in and hoped for the worst.

Surprisingly, she wasn't as bad as they all said she was. She was purring like a kitten and gave enough juice when asked to. Eureka!

Then all of a sudden, I noticed she was leaking. Oooops, not all over my rug! Damn. I ran to the laundry and started wiping her off. This I did almost all night. I thought to myself, nah, its not working between us. I expected you to have some rubber, why isn't it with you?

Alright, thats it. Tomorrow, you're going back where I picked you up if I don't find another way to hose you or plug your leaking hole.

Alas, when I called the guys up at the shop they didn't know her first customer and had now way to. There was another one that had just been returned though, but un-touched. Was I interested? Heck, sure am. I'll be over in a few hours. Let me just fetch the previous one back home.

So I went home, picked her up still gently. Tied her up in the back again, and dumped her stuff around her. Then sped off.

Arriving at the shop, I found out that the previous guy who I talked to had gone on home. He'd also mis-labeled the new one and so that one had been purchased just a few minutes ago. Curses! Foiled again.

Went back to the customer counter and asked for my refund. Better yet, put it all on a gift card. I'm going back online later to pick a new lady. And yeah, here's the piece of trash you sold me yesterday. Jeeez.